There’s Always A Room To Be A Better Human.
It feels like it has been for ages I haven’t been writing much for Medium. I wanted to write constantly and post regularly, but many priorities of life have taken many turns. Since Medium ended its curation, nothing else could motivate me to write and post any quality blogs.
Once again, I began to ask myself. Why do I write? What makes me keep coming back to this tiny screen to write and whinge about life? If writing on Medium gets you nowhere, are you actually just wasting your time? If Medium rules keep changing, why would writers stay in here? Maybe I should stop asking and accept that Medium only cares for its own cycle of writers and readership. Writers’ canonship is determined by their proximity to Medium’s own network.
Then came this Covid mess and writing got even more difficult as mental health declined to the lowest level. The ill-fated lockdown just made things worst; losing the job, alcoholism, and anxiety.
But there was a silver lining. I restarted decluttering, sorting out junks I’ve piled up over the years. When I got back from Japan in May 2019, the rising star nation inspired me how possession didn't determine happiness. You only have what you need. True happiness comes from how one accepts simplicity in life.
I started looking around my apartment. I began to check out all of my possessions from clothes, books, furniture, and the list just went on. I began to question and challenge myself. Did I really need them? When was the last time I wore that shirt or those shoes? I asked everything I had until I made a list and began to sort out any stuff which hadn’t been part of my day-to-day life for the past 2 years. The result was mind-boggling. I had so many things in my life I liked to pile up. I detached any sentimentality on the collected items. I began to learn to let go of the past.
But now, living in a one-bedroom apartment for 8 years, it feels like this place is stretching out. This 83-metre square space suddenly feels like it’s just too big for me. What is it all bout this place that sends me into heartbreak? Is this place keeping some energy of the past? The past life when I was in a relationship. The times when many close friends came over for lunch and dinner. It constantly reminds me of the moments when I was loved, once or…
